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Kimberly Quinn Smith
Excerpts from "Striving for the Purple Heart" − Page 1 of 2
“At work, you think of the children you left at home. At home, you think of the work you’ve left unfinished. Such a struggle is unleashed within you. Your heart is rent.” And The Verdict Is . . . Guilty!
“No matter how many balls we have in the air there is always more we can be doing, and more we can feel badly about not doing. This holds true for moms working outside the home full-time or part-time, moms who work out of their homes, and for the stay at home mom as well. Our hearts are all “rent”. At the end of the day, it feels as if there has been little, if any closure because of this overwhelmingly lengthy mental list which seems to reside somewhere in the frontal lobe next to vision, the emotional cortex, and the part responsible for all things automatic. What we can clearly see and feel needs to be done, we do automatically. So then, what does our psyche do with all of the unfinished business? It gets transferred to the “Guilt Department” because if we weren’t able to do it, then we should feel badly about not doing it because at least we are doing something. Feeling guilty is a passive, very unhealthy way of taking action, but a way of taking action none the less. Our psyche is deceived into thinking it is taking on this impossible list of tasks. The psyche is striving for closure and it is striving to be successful, and feeling guilty fills these needs.” Feeling like the “Giving Tree” at the Stump Level The Career Mother
The career mom is a champion at yielding. It seems that there is always too much to do and not enough time to do it in. If only the Almighty Himself would reconsider the amount of hours He allotted for one day when He created the world. The Career mom is thinking that maybe thirty-six would be more appropriate for the times we are living in. Life prior to the Dinosaurs roaming the earth didn’t involve cell-phones, pagers, computers, fax machines, or low-fat lunch specials. Things are much different now. Thirty-six hours in a day would be much more conducive to her schedule. This way, maybe she could fit in a much- needed massage, a trip to the used bookstore, and possibly a nap. The Stay-At-Home Mom
Because we are so accustomed to being the “meeters of needs,” we become conditioned to going without and we get lost in the momentum. Especially in the early childbearing years, when moms are walking around bumping into walls from sheer exhaustion. They are just trying to make it through their day. Many little ones are up with the roosters to start their day, which means Mom is, too. After that, it is a daily routine of meeting basic needs, wiping bottoms, spooning applesauce into mouths, potty training, teaching the alphabet, racing around to pediatrician appointments, and it goes on and on. Stay-at-home moms often lose track of who they are and what they like and dislike. Many times, when a Stay-at-home mom is asked how she is doing, she will answer with, “Oh, we are fine thank you,” as if she is a Siamese twin sharing a heart to survive. "Striving for the Purple Heart" 1 2
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