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Kimberly Quinn Smith
Author Raises Motherhood Dilemmas in New Book - Page 2 of 3
"The validation we all desire whether we graduated eighth grade or 'summa cum lately,' those feelings aren't different. I tried to get as even a slice as I could for each chapter, age-wise and education-wise." Smith said she had found the emotion of guilt and the high self-expectation to be common among mothers. She figured other mothers must also agonize over how they measure up. And her guess was right. According to Smith, the message she often encountered was: mothers can do it all and have it all. "And we can," she said. "But only for a short time because we can't do it all well. Something has to give when you're spread that thin." During the interviewing process Smith heard women saying the same things. "Even the most mentally healthy, secure women still had these moments of feeling inadequate, keeping score on other mothers, instead of asking themselves what have I done or what haven't I done today ?" I interviewed women across the country who worked outside the home, worked professionally out of their homes, and stay-at-home moms," she said. In a fast-paced country many women are facing the tough decisions of deciding to stay at home with the kids or going to the work place and missing out on part of their child's life. The feeling of guilt for having a college education and staying at home with a child was also a feeling Smith found common with some at-home moms. Smith also interviewed four 'empty nesters' or mothers with grown children as well as mothers who have adopted and mothers with special needs children. While Smith made headway on her book, she tried to maintain a normal daily routine with her family. Waking at 4:30 a.m., Smith wrote during her "creative hours" until 7 a.m., a time before her kids needed to get off to school. She fit reading and interviews in when her youngest kids were napping or at night. Dinner time in the Smith household was something she strove not to sacrifice. She said family time was always at the forefront for her and her husband, Tom.
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